IBRAHEEM'S
LAGOS SERVER
Name: Ibraheem
Degree: Peace & Conflict Resolution
Job: Web Developer
1. THE RUSH
First of all, I don't know where everyone is rushing to, but it is URGENT.
I was walking my normal "gentleman's walk" yesterday, and a stranger actually screamed at me. He abused my ancestors just because I wasn't power-walking.
I almost apologized for existing. I studied Peace, but these people choose Violence every morning.
2. JJC LEVEL 100
In Oyo, when a plane passes, it’s an event. We look up, point, maybe even wave. Here? Planes pass every second and nobody cares.
Mouth open like a complete villager.
3. THE STAKEHOLDERS
"Ah, those ones are not rats; they are stakeholders. They are huge!"
I saw one in the gutter in broad daylight. I swear to God, the thing stood on two legs and was rubbing its front paws together like it was washing its hands with invisible soap before eating lunch. I respected myself and walked away fast.
4. TRANSPORTATION WAR
The buses are never well. I don't mean they are old; I mean they are physically sick.
"By the time you get down, your kidney has shifted to where your liver is supposed to be."
It is a full body massage you didn't ask for. My body is still vibrating.
5. SPACE & HEAT
"I feel like I’m living in a file compression folder."
OYO ROOM
"My single room was a stadium."
I could play football inside. Room was always cold because I lived near a stream.
LAGOS ROOM
"Average sitting room is smaller than my bathroom."
Heat is the punishment for the light. I sleep with windows wide open, sweating away my destiny.
6. INCIDENT AT AGEGE
The scariest part: You must shine your eyes 24/7. You cannot be dull. The other day, I was trekking back from work and passed Agege under-bridge. I just stopped quickly to buy dye for my trousers. Big mistake. I opened my wallet.
THE CHASE:
"EGBON! EGBON! YOUR BROTHER IS LOST?"
"Please, which brother? Despite my degree in Conflict Resolution, I decided that the best resolution that day was to disappear."
IBRAHEEM: WHO SENT YOU?
Two months in, and I'm still asking myself that question. Getting clients in this new space is tedious.
BUT HERE'S THE TRUTH:
I might not be able to resolve the conflict of Lagos Traffic...
But I can resolve your Website conflicts.
(And I promise I won't wash my hands like that rat before starting your project.)
I want to meet more designers & work on projects!